Part 3: Ibrahim Aydan

Right after i was wheel out of the OT area, my husband and mil was waiting for me.

The first thing i said to him was: "Is our son okay?"

Huhu

Leman terus tunjuk gambar baby yg dia amik curi2 dlm Incubator.

Huhu.

Melts my heart.

And also my pain away!

Kahkahkah.

Yg second to tipu.

Bapak ah sakit luka czer tu. Extra sakit sbb aku ade procedure2 lain:

1) Asingkan "sawang2" yg dah melekat antara fibroid dan usus

2) Potong kulit perut sampai ke uterus utk kuarkan baby

3) Myectomy = buang fibroid

4) Bukak jahitan cerclage

By the time sampai ward aku rase dah grogy gila. But i tried to fight the feeling.

Mission aku mase tu satu je.

Nak cepat2 bgn so that aku boleh turun NICU tgk baby. Huhu.

Kalau ikutkan sakit, nak jek aku baring 2-3 hari. 

Mase doctor datang follow up, dia tanya,

Doctor: Do you feel like walking tomorrow? Maybe tomorrow evening you can try walking (48 hours post ops).

Me: No doctor. Can i try walking later this evening? (24 hours post ops)

So despite the "BAPAK-punye-sakit" kind of pain, i forced my self up.

Before i can start TRYING to stand up and walk, the nurses bukak dulu 2 tube yg discharged darah kotor tu.

2 nurses came to me..

Nurse: Kita nak cabut tube ni ye. Puan nak pain killer tak? Ke puan boleh tahan sakit?

Me: How much is the pain threshold.

Nurse: Ade patient cakap sangat sakit.

*mangkuk hayun! Kalau dah gitu ape payah tanya2 aku lagik kan. Bagik jek la pain killer. Huhu*

So nurse pon bagi pain killer (cucuk kat bontot).

Lepas tu aku nampak dia kuar razor.

Harus aku cuak.

Me: Emm.. What is that for?

Nurse: owh, dun worry. This is to open the stitch.

T______T

Rupanya botol discharge darah kotor tu ade jahit sikit sbb dia kuar ikut lubang kecik yg ditebuk kat tepi perut. 

Mase nurse bukak plaster besar luka czer --> i can stand the pain (mase ni tak amik pain killer lagi)

Mase nurse bukak jahit pakai razor --> lebih takut daripada sakit

Mase nurse tarik tube --> Serious rasa nak mati. sakit nak mampos ok tak tipu. I can feel the tube menjalar dari dalam. dah tarik hembus nafas berkali2 pon tak abes kuar lagik. Nangesssss..

Itu dah amik pain killer sakit camtu. Kalau tak amik tadi tatau la, memang saja tau nurse tu nak ranjau aku. Pffttt!

Sebab nak cabut tube ni dah sakit sangat..

Mase nurse dtg nak cabut tube kencing tu aku dah phobia gila.

Tapi surprisingly yg tu tak sakit plak. (Mase time buat cerclage dulu yg tu pon sakit jugak)

Long story short..

Lepas dah bangun and try pegi toilet..

After about 24 hours post ops, Leman pon tolak aku turun NICU (actually baby dlm Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU). tapi NiCU ngan SCBU tu sama je tempat and nurses nya. Cuma case dan harga je yg membezakan. Hehe. Kalau kat TMC, NICU satu malam RM388, tapi SCBU baru RM190 lebih kurang.

Happy sgt dapat tgk baby Ibrahim.

Walaupon ikut perasaan nak meleleh je air mata mase tu, tapi aku kuatkan jugak hati.

Sebab takleh la nak tunjuk sedih2 depan baby kan.

Mase hari ketiga, pagi tu kitaorg turun tgk dia dah kuar incubator. Tapi still ade oxygen kat tepi dia.

That was the first time mummy dapat dukung dia. Sgt happy my baby dah "graduate" from incubator.

Sekali turun petang tu, baby kena masuk incubator balik sbb dia still takleh regulate oxygen dia everytime lepas feeding. On top of that diorang masukkan sekali feeding tube kat mulut. Sob sob sob.

Sepanjang baby Ibrahim kat dlm incubator,

Tah berapa kali aku break down.

Once dia dah masuk incubator balik takleh sesukati hati nak pegang dia.

Sebab doctor nak minimize any risk of infection.

So hari demi hari kitaorg turun dpt pegang2 tangan dia je sekejap2.

Sedihhhhh sgt mase tu everytime aku nak naik ward aku balik.

Susah hati tu korang takpayah cerita la. confirm la susah hati punya.

Cuma depan baby tak tunjuk.

Biasanya bila malam je aku breakdown lepas tengok baby.

Seb baik tak meroyan. Huhu.

Since baby still dlm SCBU, aku pon duduk la dalam ward jugak sbb nak tunggua discharge skali ngan baby. Bagus jugak sbb dpt la aku berehat nak baikkan luka czer tu kan. Every few hours kitaorg turun tgk baby. Orang lain takleh masuk area tu kecuali parents.

Physical pain i can still endure.

But emotional pain really gets to me.

Sepanjang pregnant dengan complication after complication, sikit je aku nanges. Tapi sepanjang tgk baby dlm ni, ade la selang sehari aku nanges kot. (Takley nanges selalu sgt sbb kena marah ngan leman nanti. Huhu)

Me: *sobbing after visiting Ibrahim one night. Mase tu sedih sgt tgk dia muntah susu siap kuar dari mulut and hidung lagik during his tube feeding. I only made it as far as the ICU door before i start sobbing*

Leman: Jgn la nanges sayang. ibrahim okay la. dia nak sihat dah tu.

Me: sayang sedeyyyyy.. Sayang stress tgk dia dalam tu. pehtu tadi teringat2 dia muntah. And i wanna hold my babyyyyyyy... Uuuwwwwaaaaa...

Leman: alaaa.. Nanti dia dah balik rumah you pegang la dia 24 jam sehari pon :p. Dah jgn nanges2.

Huhuhu. Thank Allah i got a really strong support from my husband, family and friend.

And baby Ibrahim is such a tough fighter, mase muntah tu sikit dia tak nanges. (Mak dia yg tolong nangeskan. Hehe) 

Sepanjang dlm incubator pon dia jarang sgt nanges, kecuali kalau lapa je.

Ade beberapa kali dia "pancut" dlm incubator so nurses to bagi la iols pegang dia sekejap sementara diorang cuci and tukar semua cadar dlm incubator. Hahaha. 

So these are our stolen moments.

Me holding him tight and him holding my fingers tight. Mana la tak cair kan.

To cut an even longer story,

Finally it's time for us to bring him home.

10 days kitaorg anak beranak berkampong kat sepital ni.

Ibrahim dlm SCBU and kitaorg dlm ward.

Leman sahur bukak puasa tido semua kat ward jugak. Hehe.

Hari balik tu..

Lepas dah pakaikan baju "coming home" ibrahim, dia muntah susu kena baju.

So tukarkan la baju spare dia.

Sementara nak settle bill, dia muntah lagik sekali.

Baju spare lain semua dah angkut masuk kereta tak kuasa nak amik.

So on the day we bring our precious baby home..

Dia tak pakai baju pon! Hahahahaha

Welcome to the world my little one.

Below is one of my favourite picture of him mase dlm incubator. Susah sgt nak tgk dia bukak mata sebenarnya. :)