Saturday, March 31, 2007

Selamat Pagi Malaysia

Selamat Pagi Malaysia..

heheheh..It's 1:43am and dot baru jek sampai umah dalam half and hour tadik..huhuhuh...canne lah nak cantek mukaku ini..asek not enuf beauty sleep ajek...

Skrg nih stress betol..most of the time what i did is complaint and whine..especially towards my equally busy frens..mesti diaorang pon dah naik runsing..tapi memang penat ah this round..last round pon busy gak..tapi takde lah hehari balik kol satu pagi..huhuhu..kalau camnih camne nak siap project baju aku nih...

My beloved cousin Sari handles the major project..jahit beads pada baju nikah dot..dot plak handle minor project jek..jahit bead sket sket pada for baju khatam nanti..

As at date, alhamdullillah..everything is half done..OMG..my deposit money are EVERYWHERE ok..gile sengkek ah setiap kali tiba masa untuk bayar remaining bill..bulan nih saja baju siap..next month road tax keta plak due..then kad..then macam macam lah lagik mak nenek nye..abes duit edennnn...huhuhuhuh...

Sekarang nih asek ujan jek..aku plak asek malasss jek nak bangun pegi kerja pepagi..esok ade dinner date antara dua bakal family..neves neves..
next month nak masok anniversary yg ke-9 dah..tapi perasaan neves tuh tetap ade setiap kali berjumpa..hiks..harus tak nak mintak leman bagi smart tag jek untuk hadiah aniversary??hahahaha..praktikal siyut..tapi tak romantik langsung lah kan..

On the subject of "romantic"..semalam tunangku itu singgah ofis, ajak lunch..then dah masok bangunan ofis pon dia nak jugak pegang pegang tangan ku yg kiyut dan lembut bak baby dalam iklan baby johnson tuh..aku kata "kat ofis takleh pegang pegang tangan lah yang"...hahahah..then trus dia merajok...hahahaha..jatuh saham mak nyeh pegang pegang tgn kat ofis..mau kecoh makcik makcik typist tuh kata aku show off nanti..hehehehe..

but how sweet..next time i'll let you hold my hand ok darling...(mampos kalau nenek dia tau!! Dulu masa aku ikot family diaorang gi London, pagi first jejak bumi London tuh jek dah kena sound.."Kita orang Islam..tak boleh pegang pegang tangan org yg bukan muhrim!!") ..hahahaha.. ambik kau..trus tertusuk kat jantung..ouch ouch ouch...hahahhaha..tuh dah bukan agik pistol tuh..dah senapang gajah dah tuh...hehhehe..nevertheless..kitaorg curi curi jugak hold hands bila nenek tak nampak ; )

Sekarang aku tengah sibuk persuade abah to let me tak pakai tudung masa sanding nanti..huhuhhu...puas aku pujuk aku pakai complete set masa nikah, tapi mak nak pakai cucuk sanggul nyeh masa sanding n anti..lagipon mak tgk kat majalah, songket tabur meroon pakai tudung tak cantik...huhuhhu..puas sudah kufikirkan fesyen aper lah yg aku leh buat..tanak pakai tudung proper, tapi takleh free fair langsung...huhuhuh..dilema dilema..

Honeymoon dalam Malaysia jek yg mampu buat masa ini..im taking 3 weeks off..so right after groom's reception trus pegi honeymoon..tapi in September dah siap planning pergi bercuti ngan kengkawan ke Bali plak..December kalau ader rezeki lebih barulah leh planning gi 3rd honeymoon ke oversea..insyaallah..bahagia betol asek pegi bercuti jek..hehehe..macam kompeni bapak aku jek nak bagi cuti byk byk..cuti kawen pon 3 hari jek..rugi tak keja bank dapat 10 hari..huhuhhu..

Dot dah ader radio ok..tapi takde la cd player..at least its better than having to listen to my mp3 from speaker phone..dah lah leh store sket jek lagu..itu jek lah aku ulang2 hehari selama seminggu...hehehe..so happy..semalam abah hantar pergi kerja..so he managed to gave my car a face lift yesterday..love you daddy..hehehe..hutang masok dulu buku 555 ok..

One particular good fren of mine is feeling bluer than usual at the moment..I know its tough, but the roughs going to get better ok..we'll always be by your side to support you!!
Dah naik juling mata kau menaip..wireless nih plak tetiba disconnected plak..so tatau lah bila baru leh posting this entry..masa untuk tidur..Good Nite..

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Emo...

March is almost over..and before i knew it, there about 3 months left before i will officially be Mrs Leman..Right now i have to admit, mix emotions every day..half : I'm ecstatic about my big day..tak sabar nak kawen..I am so in love with Leman and i think i'm falling more and more in love with him every single minutes..Another half of me keep thinking and missing my late mother..every single day!..Sometimes, i have to force myselfnot to think about her, cause i would SURELY ends up crying..in public, im always the happy go lucky and jovial self..But whenever i think of my mom, i'll sure feel sad..I still can't believe she's gone FOREVER...She has so much spirit in her and she has always inspire me to be the best i can possible be..See..tats why i dun like to talk about her..cause i always ends up crying my hearts out..

Nih my wedding date is nearing,the more and more im missing my mom..i can't even describe my feelings with words..Losing her is my worst nightmare..and is the toughest "dugaan" so far..I really really really wish i could spent more timewith her on her sick days..this regret sadly i would have to carry for the rest of my life..even not being there when she finished her last breath..would always make me sad..i don't think anyone knows how i really feel..not my family, not my fiance..not even my close frens..cause when i hang around them, i always put on my brave face..even if people or her frens mention her i would just shrugged it off..and try to change the subject quickly, before i ends up having an emo breakdown in front of them..

some of them always said "Kesian ye mak tak sempattengok Ina kawen!!"..deeee..that's not a good way to make me feel better okay..and I have no power and no control over it..only the Allah AlMighty has that power..Sedih Sedih..Most of my wedding preparation alhamdullilah is according to plan..Got loads of help and support from Abah..kesian jugak tgk dia terpaksa melibat kan diri hingga ke semua details..kalau arwah mak masih ada, confirm dia tak sesibuk ini..

Selalu lah aku nih macam nih..sometimes i am driving, and im hit with waves of sadness over missing my mom, and i would cry..sometimes im lazing around..and i ends up crying..sometimes tgh makan pon rasa nak nangis..cuma tunjuk and tak tunjuk jek perasaan pada org..Sebab orang lain pon byk masalah masing2,So aku jarang lah nak emotional tak tentu pasal..tapi serius, kengkadang or more exactly setiap masa..aku rindu sangat kat mak..bayang kan, dah takkan ade mak seumur hidup ni..

nih nak kawen lagi 3 bulan, memasak pon tak khatam lagik..tuh among other things..the only pesanan that she keeps reminding me masa dia tgh sakit sakit dulu, is that always treats my mother in law well..no matter what, always be nice to your mother in law..sedihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

still cant believe it..kengkadang kalau nak mintak pendapat ke..nak tanye itu ini ke..kena diam sejenak sebab nak kena remind myself that i no longer have the privilege of having her in my life..the only good thing about me being super duperextra busy nowadays is that i have no time to think of anything or anyone else besides from all those damn outstanding accounts...

Just a note to all of you out there,do appreciate your mother while you still can..never take her for granted..bila kena marah tuh jangan lah melawan..trust me bila dah takde emak, nak kena marah pon rasa rindu!!

There's so much more i wanted to say..to do and to share with my mom..but dah di takdirkan it stops at my age of 25..I would ALWAYS cherish all those 25 years with my mother forever,..

Akan ku ceritakan pada bakal anak anak aku nanti what a great grandmother she would be if she's still with us..no one would ever replace her in my heart..i miss you so very very much mak..Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat..amin..

Friday, March 09, 2007

Miss Independent

As manja as i would like myself to be..i can be independent whenever i choose to be as well..which is most of the time..

My good frens regards me as a person who would easily panicked..
hehehehe..yerp...100% true..back in the Uni days..i would make a list of all the datelines that i have to make..and fret over them for fear i would not be able to meet them..lucky for me, never once did i experience not meeting my Uni datelines..

Now it flows thru work..those Uni assignment seems picisan as compared to my work datelines..especially during this peak period..
As menggelabah as i am..so far i always managed to meet my datelines..at least die trying...hahaha...

Since i am a true easily gelabah kind of girl..that's why i associate myself around "chill" and calm individuals..growing up..my dad is always there for me..even now he's still my pillar of strenght..sometime, even he's miles away..in dire circumstances..i just needed to hear his voice and everything would seem better...(but it always involves some crying first lah kan)..hehehe..

Now, im lucky to have another such "cool" and "calm" man (except if it involves any spiders..hehehe)..kalau spider alamat kita jerit pekik lah sesama ok darling..and if leman's not there, i could always count on my few closest frens to back me up mentally and morally..

tapi i could also can be as strong and independent as circumstances allowed..
cembeng cembeng jugak..macho macho jugak wor...heheheh..how many of you girls..especially those with boifrens or fiance or husband..has ever sent your own car to the workshop to mend your broken window?? or wait for the tow truck in the middle of nowhere..??or went to file an accident report to the police and later claimed your insurance by yourself?? hahahah..banyak nye masalah dah kereta aku tuh..

I LOATH "lipas"...if there's anybody else around (with exception of my darling sister cause she's equally pengecut like me..hahah)..i'll always asked the other person whoever that might be (most of the time my cousin Sari or my brother Boy) to squash them..make me see the "bodies" even before i consider coming back into the room..but kalau dah takde sesape around..jerit pekik lah aku bunuh sendirik...hehehe..end result..lots of screaming and swearing in the middle of the night plus a dead lipas body...huhuhu..

Masa dapat berita mak dah meninggal dulu..aku tgh assigment kat Seremban..berjurai jurai air mata tuh..setengah jam jek dah sampai puchong balik..kalau tak cukup strong mau tak lalu nak pegang stereng kereta pon okay..

But, as strong and as independent as i could or would or have to be..it is always better to have someone i could count on..sometimes, nak gak manja manja kan..i would like to thank each and every important person that make my life meaningfull..i hope i could count on you (more than 1) whenever i needed you, and believe me when i say you could always count on me too..
goodnite..

PS: Lupa nak cerita..result ACCA dah kuar..3 Fail 1 jek Pass... uuuwwwaaa....sedeyyyyyyyyyyy...mak fail paper audit lagik nyeh..masuk nih dah 3 kali dah nih..mau muntah darah kaler purple bila tgk lagik skalik notes tuh nanti...huhuhu..bulan 6 nih exam lagik..tapi bulan 7 nak kawen dah..tatau ler leh concentrate ke idak nak exam nih..kot dah asek berangan nak kawen jek...hahahah...so maybe i'll just do my audit paper this round..and save the other 2 final paper for December..Wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Bad Luck!!! Bad Day!!!

Siiiggghhhh...dunno where to even start...
Lets start with last nite..my bloody car got broken in AGAIN!!!!! uuuuuwwwaaaaaaaaaa...not to sound syirik or anything, but i think my car dah "suwei" ar..and needed to mandi bunga..hahahah..sedih siyut...ader kat porch tak hantar repair pon lagik..kali nih the son of a bitch..obviously another one..cause he did broke my window..bloody cilaka...buat abes duit aku jek nak kena repair tingkap..at least the drug addict previously tak pecah kan tingkap..expert sket..and tak curik my cd player..but tis one did...

uuuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...i miss you alredi my Sony X-Plod...and im sure it woud be long before i even manage to find your replacement..huhuhuhh...all my money is now focused for my wedding preparation...sob sob...at least dulu leh gak dgr lagu from lap top dalam kereta..tapi nih lap top IBM yg bangang nih the bateri wont last for more than 2 minutes..huhuhhu...terpaksa beli external radio kecik camnih..
Ishk..tapi seriyes bengang..dah lah balik kerja lambat jek minggu nih..selagi jam tak tukar hari baru..tok sah berangan lah nak balik..sekali penat2 tuh tgk plak kereta camtuh...huhuhuhh....sedihhhh sedihhh....

Last week managed to went for our pre-wedding photoshoot...i look TEMBAM...demmittttt..really need to cut off those carbs..but i love carbs..hehehehe...lepas makeup tuh..nak tukar baju, which we alredi altered earlier, sekali sarok kain...aiseyman...tak muat sehhh..ketat nak mampos macam balut nangka..mak dah panik dah uollssss...takkan menggemok sampai cam tuh sekali..all my own kebaya or seluar pon tak de le sekatat tuh..sampai tak leh zip...last last cine tuh amik kain sumbat kat kain yg berlubang kat bahagian bontot...hahahhaha...dah ternaik backside aku cam tonggek..nak posing duduk pon slow slow je uollsss...i hate being gemok...ishkkk...but i love foods...yum yum..cant help tergelak gelak bila abang photographer tuh suruh buat posing posing yg cliche and poyo..cam letak jari kat dagu and stuffs..hahhaha...funny....my fiance nye mata sepet sgt sgt..and byk sgt kali dia pejam bila amik gambar..ishkk..spoiler btol..penat mak posing cantik cantik nyeh..