Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of
language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the
critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings
when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be fucking joking!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his arse.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my arse.

14) TRY SAYING:
I 'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your arse.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.


Thank You,
Human Resources