Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My emergency cerclage story

This happened last wednesday..

I went to work like normal.. Had breakfast.. Do work.. 
Owh nak terkencing..
Went to the toilet..
And saw brown blood spotting on my panty liner..

Lamaaa aku pandang..
Betul ke spotting nih..
Ke terberak ke ape dlm suar kan.. Huhuhuh..

I took picture of my panty liner and mms it to Leman..
Gross i know.. But I'm pretty desperate eh..

Sambil kencing sambil whatsapp Leman..
Aku tgh separa panic boleh dia tak jawap.. Isshkkk..

Then i called him and asked him to check his whatsapp..
Lepas dia baca whatsapp dia called aku balik..

Husband: "Banyak ke sayang?"

Ade ke tanye soalan banyak ke tidak.. Hellooo.. I took a photo of my panty liner so that you would be very clear didnt i.. Ishkk.. men asked the silliest question during crisis.. huhuhu..

Leman ajak pegi TTMC..
Tapi kalau kes2 pregnancy nih.. kalau pegi GP pon takde faedah nye sangat..
Unless la kalau mak buyung tu demam ke, batuk ke kan..

So I told Leman let's not panic.. yet..
Let me asked my "cikgu google"..

Googled: 2nd trimester spotting

Read a few article..
Okay.. Maybe it is a good time to panic..

Pick up the phone again to call TMC..
Lucky Dr. Dev ade slot pukul 230 petang tuh.. Alhamdulillah..
Booked my slot and called Leman again..

Walaupon appointment doctor tengahari..
Hati still rase tak sedap.. so terus balik umah..

Fast fwd to my doctor's appointment..

When i told my doctor about the spotting episode..
He said it's not common to have a 2nd trimester spotting..
So he's gonna do a tummy scan and also a V-scan..

One look at the tummy scan and he detected something wrong already..

Dot:"Why doctor? You see any bleeding there?"
Doctor: " Hmm.. No.. But this here worry me. You see this, this is your cervix. Normally it's 6cm but yours is only 3.6cm. Let me do the V-scan to confirm ok."

Ok.. blur kot.. cervix.. shorten.. so?

Then before V-scan tetiba doctor nak masukkan speculum dulu (similar to pap smear procedure without actually doing the pap smear.. Urrghh.. sakit.. Tak suka.. Tak redha jek la)..

Few seconds later baru doctor cakap..

In summary: "Cervix shortening.. preparing itself for labour.. baby not ready yet.. emergency cerclage!"

Terus iols melalak kat situ jugak okay..

The thing is.. i ALWAYS had my emotion under control before this bila jumpa doctor.. Tak kisah la bad news mcm mana pon.. Dah kuar bilik doctor la kot ye nak melalak pon kan.. Tapi yg nih automatic dah tak leh nak stop plak.. Huhuhu..

I have never been that scared in my whole life.. Okl.. mase kena mini stroke dulu pon camtuh jugak takut dia.. But mase tuh takut untuk life sendirik.. tapi yg nih lebih kepada takut untuk this other life that I'm carrying.. Huhuhu.. I was a mess..

Doctor aku baik gile.. dia cakap kat nurse biar aku bertenang dulu.. Then baru turun katil tuh and gi kat meja dia for consultation.. 

Leman mmg tunggu kat meja dia.. (like 3 steps daripada tempat scan tu je pon).

So doctor pon lukis2 and terangkan..

Dalam ke blur-an aku.. The only thing that I managed to asked was..
"Is the mucus plug still there doctor?"

Doctor: "It's on its way out at the moment"

Huhuhuhu.. Rilek jek doctor tu cakap.. Terus aku rase nak meraung lagik satu round! Huhuhu..
Lepas tuh serious dah tak berapa nak focus dah.. I had anxiety attack then.. And I was trying not to shiver to hard while listening to the doctor.. Dah macam kena demam kura2 dah mase tuh.. huhuhu..

I need to do the cerclage ASAP.. so sebab tu dipanggil emergency cerclage..
Doctor pon terus call OT semua untuk arrangekan..
Masalahnye sebelom dtg tadik iols dah melantak nasik sepinggan
T______T

Nak operation mana leh makan youols.. Kena puasa at least 6 jam.. (that's what doctor bius wanted to do)
But me and my baby don't have 6 hours!
So instead of GA terpaksa pakai spinal anaesthetic..

Doctor said it's a good thing I come the the clinic now..
Syukur sgt Ya Allah.. Kalau lambat tadik tatau la camne.. *shivers*
And syukur sgt doctor ade clinic and slot time tuh,.
Sbb slalu kalau tak urgent sgt.. and doctor fully book.. aku boleh je tunggu sampai ujung minggu or minggu depannye utk jumpa dia kan.. So trust your own body people.. In any cases, better be safe than sorry ok..

Before kuar bilik doctor.. Doctor cakap..
"Don't worry Zarina.. I promise I will take a good care of you and your baby. We've work so hard to protect the baby and we're not going to lose it now okay. You're not gonna see your baby today.. Not for another few months :)"

Baik sgt kan doctor iols.. Walaupon iols tau semua atas kuasa Allah bukan kuasa doctor.. But hearing good things from my doctor helps.. at least in calming me down (just a littttllllleee bit!) Huhuhu..
Kuar bilik doctor sambung melalak lagik.. Sob sob..

Pehtu terus busy nak settle kan aku dalam wad and prep me for surgery..

Rase mcm mimpi jek cause everything happen so fast..
Takut tu mmg tak payah cerita la kan.. Nak masuk schedule ops pon aku takut nih kan plak tetiba mcm bomb jatuh atas riba.. Huhuhu..

Right before nak masuk kawasan OT baru salam and sayang Leman..
Itu pon dikhalayak ramai nurse2 sbb aku pon mcm blur2. eh.. dah nak masuk dah ke? huhuhu..

From that point on I was alone.. well.. not totally true,. I have my baby kan..
So kuatkan la semangat untuk baby.. Walaupon kalau ikutkan semangat sendiri dah ilang sejak tadik kan..

Masuk OT..
Mmg sgt2 la mendebarkan.. Walaupon procedure nih skejap jek sebenar nye..

Doctor bius suh duduk bersila sambil bengkok kan badan..
Mase nih aku mmg tawakal abes la..
Sbb teringat citer2 kawan2 yg amik epidural mase bersalin..
Well at least for them, they are in labour pain.. and sakit tuh nanti hilang la bila tgk baby kan.. Huhu..

Aku pon cuba la rilex se-rilex mungkin..
Ikut jek semua arahan doctor..

Tgh doctor bius nak masukkan bius tuh, doctor Dev pon masuk..
Terus dtg kat aku yg tgh bersila atas katil OT nih..
Pehtu gosok2 jari aku.. 
"Don't worry Zarina.. Everything will be fine.. Don't worry.. I'll promise I'll take good care of you and your baby.. I won't let anything happen to you or your baby okay.. :)"

Baik kannnnn doctor aku?
Mana ko nak carik doctor baik camtuh weih..
Mmg la byk jek doctor2 yg terer kat Malaysia nih.. tapik tak semua ade compassion ok.. 
And in time like this, I need my doctor to have some compassion (skill tu takyah citer la.. that shud be the first criteria kan..)

Bila ubat bius dah rase.. Diorang pon baring kan aku..
And pasang mcm hot blower.. Mcm vacuum tapik udara panas la kaedah nye..

Aku plak lepas jek dibaringkan terus start menggigil2..
Kahkahkah..
Takut lettew!
Or maybe sbb effect spinal jugak..

So aku pon cuba la sedaya upaya supaya tak menggigil sgt..
Dah la menggigil part pinggang ke atas jek.. sebab pinggang ke bawah harus dah tak rase kan,, huhuhuh..
Mase tu tak klakar weih.. Takut nak mampos sumpah tak tipu..

5 minit lepas tuh tetiba dah rase weng plak..
Rase ngantuk gile nak tido.. Terkebil2 aku pandang lampu OT tuh..
Nak tido takut la plak kang takut bangun balik ke ape.. Uwaaa....

So i channel whatever left of my semangat to talk to my baby..
"Don't worry baby. We'll be fine. Dr. Dev is here to help us. InsyaAllah"
"We have to be strong okay. I know you are strong"

And then aku dgr diorang bincang2 utk masukkan cathether (utk kencing)..
And a few minutes later..
Dengar Doctor Dev cakap..
"Okay. We're done."
And lps tu dia busy thanking Dr Sumiyati (dr. bius) and nurse2 OT yg lain..

pehtu dia dtg kat area kepala aku..
And senyum sambil buat 2 thumbs up..
"okay Zarina. We're done. You're good. I'm going to go outside to talk to your husband okay"
Aku yg masih lemah and weng mampu cakap thank you doctor je..

Lepas tu lama jugak aku dok kat area observation tuh..
Operation tu dlm 25 minit jek kot from di bius until habis masuk cathether,.
But it felt like a lifetime..

What is cerclage you asked?
Senang cerita doctor jahit pintu rahim aku to prevent it from shortening or opening before time..
Dulu bila aku baca pasal cerclage tuh cepat2 skip chapter tu sebab membaca jek pon sudah membuat ngilu.. Tapi dah takdir nak kena cerclage jugak.. Asalkan baby aku okay buat la ape saja pon.. Mummy will persevere ok..

Long(er) story short..
Satu malam dok wad..
Wad single or single executive penuh.. so dpt la wad 2 org.. Tapi dok sensorang..
Aku dok risau gak diorang halau Leman malam tu kan.. Huhuhu..
Seb baik tak..Maybe sbb kitaorg jek dlm wad tu kot.. Rasenye wad sorang jek boleh husband teman kan.. sbb ni kan wad wanita..

I am ever so thankful for my husband..
He is my rock.. 
Even in time of crisis he maintained his composure and stay so very calm.. (unlike his wife :P)
And i needed that..
Imagine kalau dia pon sama melalak and menggigil2 macam aku.. Huhuhu.. Naya..

Now I am on bedrest..
Dah 5 hari tak kuar bilik okay..
Jumaat ni jumpa doctor balik and we'll see what the doctor says..
I have a feeling lama lagik nih mc aku nih.. 
Tak kisah la apepe pon cause my baby is my top priority now..

Terima kasih jugak untuk keluarga dan kawan2 yg mendoakan..
Boss aku siap buatkan solat hajat the day i went into ops.. How sweet is that.. :)

Please pray for me and my baby ye my dear blog readers (yg mostly nye kawan2 jugak aku tau)..
Hope i can carry my baby sampai full term.. Aminnn....
 



 

 


7 comments:

Sash said...

Amennnn. InsyaaAllah babe selamat semuanya. I baca belog u dengan emosi bercampur baur. Kalau i, sah sah ayat meraung dari awal sampai habis entry.lol
Take care dahhlingg! :D

Ms J said...

Amin. Aku doakan dua2 selamat ina. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Salam dot. Although i do not know u in person, i pray for u nd ur bby's health until full term insyaAllah. I was in tears reading this and u r a strong woman! Dont stop to have a strong will to protect ur little baby in the womb. And having a greeeaattt doctor like that, what more can i say. And remember Allah is always with us and bykkan (which i know u mesti dah byk buat) baca quran, surah2 penting, zikir and bykkan solat and berdoa supaya Allah selamatkan and permudahkan segalanya. InsyaAllah amin. I know u can do it!

dedalie said...

dot..iols doakan semoga baby dan uols selamat dan sihat sejahtera. eat good food, banyakkan berehat dan berdoa.i pray for u too!!! take care laling..semoga cepat sembuh.

Anonymous said...

salam, take care ina. x sabo nak tgk anak kome, musti cute. byk kan rehat. kalo keje ko terok sgt, g la amik cuti smpi bersalin. riso dego. tp, sumenye mesti ok la. brp bulan je lg. jgn lasak sgt tau. ko kena jd pompuan melayu terakhir smpi la baby kuar tau. jln tu kepit2 sket. hahahah. k bye

Anonymous said...

lupa plak, anonymous ni aku la akong. hehehe

dot said...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Keeping my fingers cross for full term. Xoxo