When I've reach my limits...

Penat.
Bile bercakap soal rezeki nih (note: cahayamata)
Lagik penat
Bila dengar kata2 org yg membingit kan telinga
Lagik bertambah penat
Bila nasihat2 diorang backfire (backfire meaning mak sentap ok nyeh!)

Today I received yet another nasihat-tak-mintak-pon-tapik-dapat-free
Most days when I received nasihat yg aku tak berapa nak buy in..
I'll just say thank you and chug it out of the window one second later.
Tapi hari nih with lack of sleep as well as lack of oxygen in my brain, I feel like rant-ing..

And since this is my blog.
I very  much can do as I wish. No?

The essence of the nasihat is good.
I have to admit it.
At the very least, it will make me a better wife.

But the way it's being implied that pissed me off.
Altho the messenger insisted that the tukang bagik nasihat didnt meant anything bad or implying anything..
Well too bad.
The heart felt what the heart felt.
And in my case.
It felt --> OUCH!

I've stress this time and time again..
ONLY GOD HAS THE ULTIMATE POWER TO GRANT ANYONE A CHILD

Walaupon aku nih takde la baik sangat.
Kadang2 waktu semayang pon miss miss..
But at least I know 1 thing.
And I hold strongly to my believe.

Maybe people dont know HOW BADLY we wanted a baby of our own.
Cause I don't tend to advertise it to the world how BADLY we want one
But that doesnt meant that we want it any less

Cause sejahat2 aku, I dun believe in mempersoalkan naseb diri
What do I get out of it?
Nowhere! or Nothing.. That is

Perlu ke aku advertise kat blog, facebook and twitter..
"Kenapa sampai hari nih kitaorg masih belom dikurniakan zuriat?"
"Kenapa aku yg terpilih nak di duga begini?"
Perlu ke?

As much as it hurts us (I'm sure my husband is hurting by this too.. especially bila bini dia balik ngadu nanges2.. kecik ati ngan kata2 orang).. we tried to remain realistic..

I always have that "what if?" memang takde rezeki?
What am I suppose to do then?
Bunuh diri?

Having said that..
We berusaha as much as we mampu..and bertawakal..

We berusaha in our own way.
Setiap orang ade cara masing2..
I hope you respect ours.. as we respect yours..

So plissssssssssssss..dun use me as a platform to sell your medicines and what not.
Kalau aku rase nak makan..aku makan..
Tapi skrg aku dah bole control.. I won't simply pop pills into my body just because some lucky person did get pregnant.. Itu rezeki dia.. alhamdullillah..

Kadang2 mmg pissed ok bile org amik kesempatan nak up direct selling points masing2..
If you really care about me.. your doa is more than memadai..
And like some rare cases of good fren, bila introduce ubat tuh dia belikan terus.. (Thanks Zue :)).. So aku pon takde nak sakit hati..

And as for us REALLY wanting to have one of our own..
Of cos we do dumb-ass..
Why else do you think we undergo procedure after procedure.

Ko ingat duit yg aku spend tu bole claim kat kompeni ke?
Or ko ingat duit aku terlebih2 sampai nak buat charity case kat sepital?
Atau ko ingat bole high cium bau sepital?
Ingat kena rodok and ronjang tu semua saja suka2..

So of course we want it BAD..
So PLEASE GET OFF OUR BACK!

And plis dun come to me and say..
"Aku cakap sikit nih ko jgn terase plak ye"
And 1 second after that throw insults or hurtful words down my face..
Ape ko ingat sebab pipi aku tembam aku immune ke
So I beg you people.. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Cause even tho you meant no harm..
It doesnt matter if people on the receiving end feels otherwise.
Orang mana tau ape niat kita.
So macam mana orang interpret niat kita tuh jugak penting

I would also like to apologize to the messenger this evening.
This is a classic case of "shooting the messenger"
But this post is not just about this evening.
It's also about my life and peoples I've encounter throughout my life (and their BIG FAT MOUTH)

So there goes.
I've said it all.

PS: The only silver lining in this thing is I have the sweetest husband..so when the going gets tough, this weak soul will come running home sobbing into her husband's arms :)

DOT's Hubby said...



Hello dear....i love you soooooooooooo much...thanks for the birthday present and the celebration,me like it...heheh..


Birthday present = RM$$$$ (me like it)

Birthday celebration = RM$$$$ (me like it)


You as my wife = Priceless :-)


Thanks Sayang...mmmuuaaahhsss


(Monday, 07 February, 2011)