I'm writing this post from Bangi.. My in laws house..
Since an hour or so ago, right after dinner..
"Ade mende mak nak tanye sikit"
Ok owh.. any sentence starting with that is never good.. huhu..
She then proceeded by producing a print out of my blog post --> "MEET THE IN LAWS"
She then calmly read the content of that post to us (me and hubs)..
When i write that post, i was still in anger..
So it is a bit uncalled for..
However, i merely wrote whatever i felt at that moment..
When i started blogging.. back in 2003..
I only knew a handful of frens or people who read this blog..
Income nuffnang pon tak pernah cash walaupon sekali..
So what I'm trying to say here is..
I WRITE THIS BLOG JUST FOR ME!!
This is my blog..
My personal space where i share some of my useless thought..
A place i can always count on where i can vent my anger.. my happiness.. even my sadness..
But i am sad..
Cause my blog has hurt some of the people that i love and care for..
How does my MIL knows my blog?
Ade "hamba Allah", as my MIL calls her.. call and suruh dia bukak and baca my blog.. especially on that particular post..
MIL called her that.. i called her.. (since my MIL assured us that she's not family).. STUPID NOSY BITCH!! (since she's not family i can called her whatever i want kan.. she's anonymous anyway.. If you're reading this you stupid stalker cow, if you think by telling my MIL you're trying to help.. you are dead wrong ok.. If you truly wanna tunjuk baik and concern, you should have come to me first.. or maybe she wanted my MIL to hate me.. so thank you very much.. hope you rott in hell..cause i will never forgive you!!!!!!)
Now, because of that person, i would have to privatise my not-even-glamour blog!!
Now, because of that bitch, i would have to think and censor my thoughts and feelings..
So having said that.. BAIK TAK PAYAH ADE BLOG kalau macam tuh..
Ok.. back to matter at hand..
I believe I've made my MIL very upset and very very kecik hati..
I would too, kalau tetiba baca a post yg nampak macam mengutuk i kan..
But listening back to how she read my post.. with her own intonation..
Some of what i wrote might have been misunderstood..
Some of the excerpt that upset her..
"We always allocate one nite of any week to go back to my in laws..without fail.. For more than 4 years now.. Penat or malas macam mana pon, ini kpi yg mesti tick..
This is not the issue.. Sebab mmg kami balik tiap2 minggu ikhlas pon..
Then recently FIL kena stroke.. He's still recovering but getting better by the day..
Dulu mase dia kat hospital (sjmc), we went to visit everyday..few times we even camp out there.. Still no issue here.."
Ini pon masih bukan issue.. Walaupon kadang2 kitaorg penak nak mampos.. Sebab kota damansara - bangi bukan dekat.. And klcc - bangi plak jam nak mampos selalu.. Tapi still takde masalah.. Kami ikhlas and daddy need our support more in his road to recovery..
so bila hubs tanye.. Berapa kali yg cukup..
The answer is..
RABU KHAMIS JUMAAT SABTU AHAD
Is that reasonable? Pada aku tu dah bagi betis nak peha sampai ke pinggang dah tuh!
My MIL disect this post word by word.. even sampai my titik ... pon dia analyze..
So she made 2 conclusion..
"SEBAB DIA RASE AKU RASE DIA MENYUSAH KAN KITAORG.. DIA CAKAP NEXT WEEK ONWARDS TAK PAYAH BALIK DAH"
She said she's doing us a favour, but i feel like she's punishing us (me particuarly)..
I've apologize few times.. but i don't think she's forgiven me just yet..
But i think she's missing the point..
That post which was written out of anger, was not meant to kutuk her as a bad MIL..
It is just a place for me to rant.. IF THE EXPECTATION FOR US COMING BACK WEEKLY BE INCREASE FROM WEDNESDAY TO SUNDAY"
Cause honestly we won't be able to deliver that..
Tapi sebab dia dah baca post tuh.. dia link balik everything that we do to that post..
I'm sure she thinks I'm such a fake!
Depan baik belakang kutuk..
To my MIL..
This is an open apology from me..
I know I am not a perfect Daughter in law..
Masak tak pandai.. Mengemas tak pandai.. Gemok plak tuh..
But one thing for sure..
Everytime kitaorg balik tu is because we were ikhlas (unless we are forced to balik more than we want to la kan)..
Not because of anybody's rule..
So please don't throw us the ultimatum.. tak payah balik dah next week..
Cause we would like to balik jugak..
On another note, please please forgive me cause I've hurt your feelings..
Terlajak perahu boleh di undur..
Terlajak kata buruk padah nye..
Mine's a classic case of that..
But i only wrote what i felt (at that moment of anger)..
I believe it is my right to convey my feelings in my own blog..
But I'm sorry I hurt you in the process..
If i could turn back times, believe me i would..
Now the air feel so weird..
Even after we've sincerely apologize to her, i can sense it that she has not fully forgiven me, and definitely will not forget anytime soon..
My nenek mertua also have been told.. plus few other relative..
So i guess now I'm the Monster Menantu..huhu.. (takut nak taip huhu.. cause the word huhu pon di analyze.. huhu)..
My MIL was particularly sad that how could i have the heart to write that surat (she keeps referring my blog as surat).. i have to assure her time and time again that it is not a surat.. just one of my blog post.. which unfortunately ade that nosy bitch conveys to her.. si sebuk.. kalau bosan pegi la tgk tivi.. nih tidak.. jadik batu api suruh org bergadoh!)
She said she's always direct.. ttak suka cakap belakang..
But sometimes in life.. bukan semua mende kalau kita tak puas hati kita boleh cakap straight to the face.. Sebab kadang2 out of respect and also out of politeness..
I've had this blog since i was 22..
Mase tuh belom kawen pon lagik..
So i definitely did not create this blog especially untuk kutuk mak mertua..
Cuma nasib malang la the one post i rant about my problem that day.. sampai ke pengetahuan dia..
But if she takes the time to read my blog since start till now..
I hope she'll understand that this blog is just a documentation of my life journey..
I've said all i have to say..
I'm still shaken and upset of the whole ordeal..
Can't believe my own blog post backfire..
And that is because..
Thanks to you bitch out there!
I'm gonna let this post stays out here for a bit..
In the event that my MIL feels like opening my blog again.. (or maybe for that nosy Bitch to read and convey to my MIL)..
From the bottom of my heart..
INA MINTAK MAAF BANYAK BANYAK SEBAB SAKITKAN HATI MAK..
INA TAK BERMAKSUD PON NAK BUAT MACAM TUH..
YOU'RE LIKE MY OWN MOTHER ALREADY..
I HOPE WITH TIME, WE CAN LET THIS BE WATER UNDER BRIDGE..
FOR THE TIME BEING, I"M JUST GONNA CONTINUE BEING ME.
And also from the bottom of my heart..
To that nosy bitch whoever you are..
I know i create my own problem with my writing..
But whoever you are..
I really really don't like you..
So if we're friend or even family..
Please continue on as if you have not read this post..
Cause if you confront me..
I'm not sure how long I need to forgive and forget what you purposely did to me..
It may take a lifetime..
PS: I feel like my privacy has been violated. I'm gonna privatise this blog soon.. should you be interested to still follow me.. drop me an email ok..